Babysitting Adults

As the building manager for the apartment building we live in, I get a lot of crazy calls.

It started my second day on the job when a guy we dubbed “First Things First” called and said the phrase “first things first” about 6 times in a one minute message he left. “Hi Kate, it’s _______. First things first, the pool water is really low. So, yeah, first things first- fill the pool.”

Then there came “Bird Man” who called at least once a week to scream about a guy in our building who is “blowing that damn bird whistle.” In reality, a tenant of mine has a bird who whistles. I think it’s kind of nice- it makes me think I live somewhere more fancy than Hollywood, but that’s just me. Bird Man even went so far as to leave a note on the front of my building petitioning other people to complain to the owner.

This weekend, I had to step in the middle of ridiculous feud between two tenants. One lives right next door to me, and the other lives above her. For a year now they have been fighting. She is convinced that he has a “workshop with buzz saws” in his apartment and that he is “stomping around,” to ruin her life, when really he is a larger guy who works on computers. No buzz saws. No Irish dancing.

Saturday at 3am I woke up to the sound of my door bell ringing. My husband and I went to see who was there, and found the upstairs neighbor’s roommate, asking me to come up to the roof. So I did, in all my braless, bedheaded glory, and found my neighbor, her dog, her friend, and her friend’s dog. On the roof. AT 3AM.

Her story: “We just came up here to take pictures of the moon because it’s so beautiful out!”
His story: “She goes up there at least once a week to pound on my ceiling to retaliate.”

Who is telling the truth? I have no idea. And it doesn’t matter, because at 3AM, I hate everyone. Shortly after I yell at everybody to go home, the fire department comes tromping up the stairs because they were called by someone who was trapped on the roof! Seems they also hate everyone at 3 AM and we all got yelled at.

I have had many jobs before, and many of them involve acting as a mediator, but sometimes, this job of babysitting adults, just makes me feel like I am the fool.

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April 17, 2011. Apartment Managing, Hollywood.

One Comment

  1. Katie replied:

    Whaaat! Rediculous people! I can’t wait to hear more of these stories.

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